Rosiebug rabbit is getting thinner each week. She’s .. 13? 14? at this point, which for a rabbit of her size is incredibly old. She’s reached the point where she doesn’t run anymore, and turning doesn’t always work out, she slips sometimes. She sleeps a lot.
Recently she stopped eating the lettuce and carrot bits we’d bring her, and she pays little attention to the contents of her food bowl, even the stuff she used to be quite enthusiastic about.
Today while we were outside I picked a bit of clover and some buttercups and dropped them in her space. She came over right away and started eating them!
I forsee a lot more of that .. soon. I know our remaining time together is short, but I intensely wish for those moments to be filled with happiness.
There are quiet stirrings of grief impending, I keep them at bay with bright moments and simple kindnesses.. as well as I can.
I’m rapidly running out of news sources I can bear to read. Events occurring are unbelievable.
The US is on fire. Literally and figuratively, as people’s rage finally outweighs their fear and what little respect was left, and they rise up. In another time there might’ve been people in power willing to take the long road to reconciliation, even if it was only hollow words meant to calm the beast and lead it back to it’s cage.
Not at this point. The violence increases, and the people become more angry, not less. This is a game of one-upmanship which can only ever end badly. The people are getting bloodied, and that is causing more people to finally stop ignoring what a section of the population has had to endure for the whole history of the country.
The coronavirus is still out there, still mutating, still a real and present danger. The people out there trying to get someone, anyone to change the way things are — they’re at greater risk now than ever before. First from this virus which thrives in crowds and contact, and second from the very real weaponry arrayed against them.
I can’t bear to watch. I can’t look away. It’s heartbreaking.
Kitten Lights out Wrapped in my arms Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like the way you bounce back from everything
We were sitting It was pouring So we played a game Of mousetrap and I lost And you said you felt the same That I needn’t ever worry About winning or the ways Of people that live to do it ‘Cause they just lose in other ways And we listened to the thunder And thought about a god That never probably would play mousetrap Unless there was mystery to cause And a hate around it
Death is A blanket Sometimes you fold it Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like the way you bounce back from everything
Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like your rainy sound Yeah, I like your rainy sound
Obviously, COVID-19 is turning the year into a dumpster fire globally.
People are showing their true character. Some are heroes. Some are survivors.
Some are narcissists. Some are monsters. Some are anarchists.
It’s a good time to stay away from people. Not only because hey, COVID could kill you, but also because hey, they could kill you. It’s not as bad here compared with a lot of other places, but there are still people who struggle and argue against sane precautions.
For us though, little has changed. I can’t say *nothing* has changed, that’s not true. Grocery shopping is now online shopping, and that’s been a rollercoaster. Our normal weekend outings and weekday takeout, also put on extended hold.
Other than that.. it’s all pretty normal. It’s not like we are highly social individuals, and we both enjoy this home we’ve made. If it wasn’t for seasonal allergies I’d say there’s little to personally complain about.
Allergies however provide ample fuel for complaints. I remember not having a plugged nose. I believe it was *last September*! I’m hoping it passes.
We have a fair amount of home maintenance work to do this year, that’s unchanged. Luckily for us we have a contractor who is working during this period, so fences will continue to get mended (and extended) and the concrete pad for shed #2 will be placed.
2 more buildings on our property – a shed and a gazebo, and we’ll be ‘done’ adding structures. Only the shed will get built this year however, but it’ll keep us busy this summer – these are nontrivial, and even when it’s build it still needs to be sealed, painted, insulated and have a path carved into the yard.
Starlight so stunning and brilliant The circle keeps spinning around me My love, my God, what have I done to you? I’ve lost my one in a million
I go insane a thousand times My circle of friends is shrinking down I get so far down, I can only hope I jump / move away, it gets lonely now
It keeps spinning around me (x3)
Tuesday, I walk to the Village I know that my vote doesn’t count anymore I got my opinions about you I keep them inside of the ballot box
I stuff all my thoughts and the feelings down I get so far down, I got too far gone I’ve lost my one in a million Air disappears, my balloon it is gone
(Reaching out, taking my hand) You made me understand that life is too short now (Reaching out) And we don’t have the time that we had When we were younger
My love, oh God, I am sorry For everything we’ve been through When I cry I see millions of circles In the sky so blue
Nobody deserves to be lonely No one should be left alone because Time doesn’t wait, it will only accelerate As the days and the months and the years go by
When I cry I see millions of circles By When I cry I see millions of circles (By) My love, oh God, I am sorry For everything we’ve been through When I cry I see millions of circles In the sky so blue
The older I get, the more I find revisiting memories similar to watching a bad movie again. “What? What the hell just happened? No, don’t do that! Look, he did that, what the hell?”
There are some old memories like that, but more recent ones. That could be because memories fade, and I can only clearly remember the recent events. It could be it’s become more common as I get older — that too wouldn’t be too surprising.
I need to keep an eye on it, which is surprisingly hard to do from the inside, especially when it all seems rational in the moment.
One day I may have to do something about this.
For now I’m making do with a sign on my desk.
It reads
Remain calm and pause before speaking don’t rush.
I would do well to let it catch my eye more often, perhaps paired with another that simply reads
[Verse] I was a man alone Leaning on the white courtesy phone Holy fools and hobo signs I rebuke in moony lines
I drove into the sun Yeah I was the dirt and when the wheels spun Wanting to escape myself Leave the gun upon the shelf
[Bridge] Stroll through, ‘scuse me but I thought I knew you Smiling like a check is due Feeling pleasure that you’re bound to lose
[Chorus] Wait! Oh, you’ll find a better way Oh, you’ll find a better way Oh, you’ll find a better way Wait! Oh, you’ll find a better way (Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own Free to face the darkness on my own) Oh, you’ll find a better way (Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own) Oh, you’ll find a better way (Free to face the darkness on my own
[Verse – live versions only] You were a holy mess You were dressed in infinite forgiveness But you were the heaviest Cat in the crowd nonetheless
[Verse] You were a wretched wave All the sullen trolls that you swam out to save All the moves and all your mind Dust swirls in the sunlight
[Bridge] All things empty and amazing Jot ’em down upon the wall Dressed like a professional
[Chorus] Wait! Oh, you’ll find a better way Oh, you’ll find a better way Oh, you’ll find a better way Wait! Oh, you’ll find a better way (Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own Free to face the darkness on my own) Oh, you’ll find a better way (Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own) Oh, you’ll find a better way (Free to face the darkness on my own
Then I’m free to face all the darkness on my own Free to face the darkness on my own Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own Free to face the darkness on my own Oh yes I’m free to face all the darkness on my own Yes I’m free to face the darkness on my own
I was in many minds I was in an airport bookstore I wait for many moons Left a suitcase on the fourth floor Enormous balloons Gold chocker all made out of spoons Eatin’ super sugar crisp I was getting used to this WellLight will keep your heart beating in the future Light will keep your heart beating in the future Keep your heart beating in the – Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in theThere was a lot of them Ther was a bloody fight next door The was a crack stem There was a ghoul on the misty moor City bus Ketamine Lucy Lawless Magazine Out of base Lucky charm Outer space Smoke alarmLight will keep your heart beating in the future Light will keep your heart beating in the future Keep your heart beating in the – Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in theOverlap Overleaf Shoulder strap Fire chief Porch swing Moneyless Purple wine Freckle face Heavy hand Closed door Contraband North shore Fine line Margarine Ridin’ line Mandarin
Light will keep your heart beating in the future Light will keep your heart beating in the future Keep your heart beating in the – Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the Keep your heart, keep your heart beating Keep your heart beating, beating Keep your heart beating in the, beating in the
The boy never fell as he ran across the plain And home to winter She flew beside him an angel of despair
And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine There’s laughter in the dark And I can’t sleep at night
And why must the night last til the day Which never comes again
The mountain’s drawing closer The dawn is close behind The boy runs on his legs don’t falter now The cold winds drive him on But look you careful now For all is withered where he runs
And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine There’s laughter in the dark And I can’t sleep at night
And why must the night last til the day Which never comes again
A tunnel there beneath the mountain The boy runs on his stride never slowing The angel cannot follow She turns her back and flies away He runs through streets of ice now And ever shall til spring returns
And won’t somebody tell him why the stars refuse to shine There’s laughter in the dark And I can’t sleep at night
And why must the night last til the day Which never comes again
